Thursday, December 8, 2011

Life As We Know It

First, the good news.  Have I mentioned that I really loves Seattle Children's?  I really do.  They are fantastic in so many ways.  I called yesterday ti check on where we were at since it has been a month since Emery's second cardiac cath.  I KNOW they will call me when they hear an update, but still it has been a month, so I called just because it felt like at least I was doing something.  I talked to the resident who has gone above and beyond for us.  Seriously a FANTASTIC doctor. We went over a few things that had been going on with Emery's health and pretty much ended with no new news but the hope and expectation to hear within the week.  Then last night he called me with an update.  Stanford has a surgery plan for Emery, has officially accepted her to be put on their schedule and we are FINALLY moving forward, although still waiting for a surgery date.  We should know the date within a week.  Our next contact should be with Stanford's surgery schedulers and there are no new tests or retests that need to be done before the surgery.  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He called right when he heard the news.  How incredibly nice:)

Emery is having so much fun waiting for Christmas.  She doesn't quite understand that we have to wait.  Every day has the potential of being Christmas for her, which is kind of funny.  She also knows that it is Jesus's birthday and is convinced that Jesus is coming to our house so that we can sing Happy Birthday to Him.   She got a stocking and thought we needed to two for Santa's two feet that must be sooo biiiigg.  Complete with hand gestures.  She loves the advent calendar, although I don't know that it is because there is a countdown or because she gets a piece of candy every day, probably the latter.

We are making big steps in attachment.  My husband is out of town and she really misses him, that is a good thing.  We countdown to when he will be back and she understands that.

I am still not her favorite person, I might never be, and I am OK with that.  Some of my sons would definitely prefer my husband to me(I don't blame them!) but we are so much better than where we were.  I look back and am amazed at the progress that has been made.  She will let me help her, and looks to me for help now.  She doesn't try to go with every other woman or man available.   I can now say no and it is ok with her.  It is nice to be moving away from the media entertainment phase. There are still things to work through and time to spend and places to improve but we are on the right path I think.  Last week she told us that she wanted her China family, her sisters and ayis and not us.  I hurt for her.  To me, that is a normal thing, one I have been waiting for.  I don't think it was truly a rejection of our family but a expression of grief for the loss that she has had, and she is finally able to verbalize some of the things that there are to grieve for.  So we are back to the crying at night for a variety of reasons, that are all completely understandable to me at this point and she lets us hold her and comfort her and it is so much easier to work through than when we held her like a rigid board or rubbed her back while she sat up perfectly straight and cried quietly.

We are grateful for this season of the year, and this season of our lives.  We feel so very, very blessed.

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