Sunday, May 15, 2011

Be Still and Know

Nothing much going on in the the adoption process.  We found out that our dossier was still in translation this week and hopefully will be back to the CCWAA soon for final review.  It has been one month since our dossier was sent to China.  I'll be honest, I really expected a much faster turn around and for us to have our LOA by now and be on to the next step.  I felt that since average time frame was about two months, ours would be about one month since it could be expedited.  I had a wonderful plan in my mind about when we would travel, when the hospital visits would be, when we could be back home as a complete family, how long I would be away from my boys, the types of activities my sons could do while we are gone, etc.  And now we have been waiting that one month, and have no idea when an approval will be issued, but obviously not on my timeframe.  Which I'll admit, is really hard and a bit frustrating, since there isn't someone I can call, or a manager I can talk to.  There isn't really anything else I can do at this point to speed the process along.  I feel like I am nagging with my prayers, begging for the same things over and over again.  And then I feel the whisper to 'Be still and know that I am God." 

And when I do, I have peace.  I have done all that I can do at this point.  I can only know that I am not alone in this process and that God can work all things out for the good of those who love Him.  So even though things are not exactly working out as quickly as I want them to, I have trust that they are working out and that I will be upheld by One who knows me, loves me, and wants good things for His children.

So, I will be still for a time, and know that I am being given a gift of peace, which is a great gift when I know without it I would be a nervous wreck dwelling on all the bad things that could happen or the way that I am not seeing the things fit together in the way that I envisioned them.  I am grateful to be able to be still, since I know the One who allows me to be.

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