Sunday, June 5, 2011

Being Carried

We should have BIG  NEWS  TOMORROW!!!

I really love the poem Footprints about the person who looks back on their life as a set of footprints in the sand.  Through much of their life there are two sets of footprints but during the times that were difficult there were only one set of footprints.  The person berates God for leaving them alone during the times of trouble and God says, "Those are MY footprints, it was during those difficult times that I carried you."

I'm not going to say that adopting is the most difficult time in my life or is really even that hard, comparatively.  I mean really, we fill out paperwork, we get fingerprinted, we spend a lot of money, and we wait.  It is not super strenuous.  But in many ways, like a pregnancy it is emotionally draining.  Even when you are so excited and hopeful and feel completely led and blessed, it takes something out of you.  At least for me that is the case.  The waiting, the unknowns, the what'ifs, the hopes and dreams, the health risks, even though I truly feel great about the adoption and have been blessed with a lot of peace, it is still a bit draining.  This last week I hit a wall.  I went in to finish up the boys school work and check in on their next years curriculum(we homeschool through a specific program that is graded, etc.) and the teacher there asked if there was any news about Min.  I started tearing up and just struggled to even answer.  No, there was not and no, I knew nothing, and no, I had no idea when we would know, and no, I didn't know for sure when we would be able to get here, and no, I didn't know if her health was OK, and no, I didn't know when I would find out any of these things.  And yes, I was done.  I really didn't want to talk or think about it at all.  Not, really the response I try to portray to people! 

Anyways, I said a quick prayer, and was reminded that God had led me to this path and that I am willing to follow it wherever it leads, and He will carry me when I can't walk or need a little pick me up if I stumble through my moments of being unhappy with the fact that we THOUGHT we would for sure be traveling in the next couple of weeks and there is NO WAY we will make that time frame. 

We have been waiting for our LOA.  It's not a fun wait for all of your documents to be translated, reviewed and then approved with the child you are adopting.  You cannot move forward in your adoption without it.  And there is no set time.  It isn't like you can think, for sure two months and then we have it.  It could come, or not come, at any time.  I prayed, and fasted, and prayed some more for this LOA to be issued.  Apparently this week my husband decided that enough prayers were going toward the LOA and he would focus his prayers on me.  What a gift.  I needed them badly this week and I am grateful for those prayers to help me not lose focus on the big picture and get bogged down in the momentary delays.  I felt carried this week.   I am grateful to believe in a God who takes interest in the details of our lives, who loves us a His children, and carries us when we are weak or need a rest.  I am grateful for the gift that having those beliefs is and the way it changes my life.  I am grateful for Him.

1 comment:

  1. I could have written this post. You captured my thoughts and feelings exactly. Many are awaiting LOA (we're on day 75), and it's getting tougher by the day. I've been reminding myself that I am not waiting for China's approval...I am waiting on the Lord. He will never let me down, and He will always come at just the right time. HUGS