Butterflies

I have butterflies.  You know that anxious, excited anticipation that comes before something big?  I have that.  I feel like we are so very, very close to meeting EmeryMin and I am so excited, and to be honest, nervous.  It is like the very end of your last trimester of pregnancy when you can't wait for it to be over and are so thrilled to finally be meeting the little person that you have held in your heart for 9 months, but a little bit nervous to go through the process and hoping that everything will go smoothly.  I am a little nervous just like when my sons were born.  Will I know what to do?  What if she doesn't like me?  Will I know how to be a good mother to her?  Will I know how to comfort her?  What if she doesn't like me(I had a son who really liked my husband first from the get go.  Me?  Not so much...it took months for him to like me for more than just food)  Plus, there are the added throw ins, will we be able to communicate?  Will she understand the situation?  Will she be able to attach?  Will her heart be strong during the trip?  The butterflies are growing.  And I am thrilled that they are there.  I am so excited to meet this little girl. I am so excited to see her face and hold her hand.  I am so excited to sing to her and read to her and hold her.  I am so excited to be with her and get to know her.  It's like Christmas Eve, or the even better analogy, for me, the night before an opening night of a performance when you have worked really hard, know everything you are supposed to do, and are excited to share that and see all of that hard work pay off, but still nervous to make sure you get it right.

I got to talk with a mom who is adopting a little girl from EmeryMin's orphanage and room.  It was so fun to talk with someone, who should have been a stranger, but was more like a close friend from the start since we are bonded through our daughters for life.  It was neat to see how our experiences differ and are the same and so wonderful to see these children finding loving homes.  This woman is so gracious and kind, she told me she was going to change her prayers for us to be more specific and I appreciate that.  I feel like I ask and have asked for a lot of prayers.  I feel and appreciate them so very much and have felt their power.  Here's where we are at:  We are waiting for Travel Approval.  I am praying for it to come this week and for us to be able to travel next week.  This is a tall order, but doable.  I am hoping the answer is 'yes'.  If not we should be getting our travel approval next week and traveling shortly after that.

We are getting so close.  I am amazed at all of the blessing that have happened in this adoption.  We thought we would travel in late October or early November.  We will be traveling in late July most likely.  That is pretty fast.  I was at birthday party for two great friends last night and we were talking about some flight horror stories with medical emergencies.  Someone noticed that I was looking a little green:)  Another friend said  that God hasn't brought us all this way and kept EmeryMin healthy just to have His blessing end on the flight.  I feel that way now.  Even with the butterflies, I have felt carried and blessed, my road has been made smooth.  I have known that minimiracles have happened.  And I have no reason to expect for those blessings to suddenly stop.  We have felt so strongly that we have been prepared to bring EmeryMin home and while I am still praying hard for everything to continue to work out smoothly, I just have no reason to doubt that it will and am grateful for that peace.

I will keep this blog updated when we get some travel plans...you might hear my screaming down in the lower 48:)

Can't wait to meet my daughter!