Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day! I think it is more of a day to celebrate the women in our lives who touch us and encourage us on our journey to become greater than we could be.  The women who help us when we are in need, encourage us when we are discouraged, build us up when we feel low and love us when we deserve(and don't deserve) it.

I am grateful for the mother's in my life, especially my mom and my husband's mom.  It's not easy to be a mother and I am grateful for them.

I am grateful to be a mother.  I am so blessed to have four wonderful sons.  They are truly gifts to me.  They are fantastic young men and I love being their mom.

People have said that this Mother's Day must be bittersweet for me, since Min is not home.  It is not bittersweet.  I feel nothing but happiness.  I am grateful to be married to a man I love, who I enjoy spending time with.  This year we will be married for 12 years.  It has been so great.  I am grateful to be a mother.  And I am grateful to be in the process to adopt Min.  I am grateful for the feelings that I already have for her.  No, I am not sad that she is not here for this Mother's Day.  But I am grateful that she will be next year:)

Hanging In There

I have dreamed about Min twice this week.  I have also checked flight schedules and prices multiple times, gone over finances incessantly, packed/repacked a suitcase with clothes and toys for Min, looked at translator apps for Mandarin, prepared to make a quilt(hoping the prep time equals a nicer finished product) and I don't really sew, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed.

You know the saying 'Patience is a Virtue'?  I am pretty sure it is a virtue that I am meant to have that I don't so I am given situations to help that increase.  We can pretty much travel whenever we get word, but we are at least a month out once we get this next piece of approval...which has slowed down in timing right now.  Hopefully(please keep praying)  we will get our LOA soon.  It is kind of funny to hear "Thank you for letting our dossier get logged in and please bless us with a fast LOA" from our 5 year old in family prayers.  And I have felt peace that the Lord is in control of this process and I can trust Him since I have done all that I can do.

I have been looking at more choices for Min's education this year.  We homeschool and she and my youngest son will technically be in kindergarten together.  I have found some fun stuff for the two of them and am really hoping they get along and are friends quickly.  Another son prays that Min will like us and love us quickly.  Amen to that.  I have cleared our schedule, except for recurring swim team and scouts, etc.  I have no upcoming commitments, found a substitute for the children's music program at church, and we are going to get Min's room ready this weekend.  I guess we are at a nesting stage...which should mean that we will get our little girl soon:)

First Sunday in May

I think it is finally truly spring here in south Alaska.  No more snow.  No more sleet or hail.  Probably still some rain, but plants are budding and flowers are blooming.  The geese are migrating back north by the hundreds.  The bald eagles have been back for a couple of weeks. We went to the beach twice this week.  There are several beaches within a few miles of our house...not white sandy beaches but Alaskan style.  It is really nice to feel the harbingers of summertime.  I love to see the new life that it feels like the earth has in the spring.  I guess I feel that a part of me is renewed as well.  Like it is a great fresh chance to do things better and to feel that rebirth that I feel often in my life.  It is a part of my faith that I can change, do better, white-out my mistakes or weaknesses and strengthen them.  It is a truly glorious feeling that I am grateful for.  So as I watch spring unfold, I feel it in me too.  The different seasons bring different things, and I feel like our family is at the brink of a different season of our lives and I am thrilled to feel upheld and strengthened through the journey.

We are Logged IN:)  Our dossier is received and logged in in China and will hopefully be expedited although we really don't know what time frame that will look like.  It should take about one month to complete the process after we receive the letter of approval from them so we are looking forward to travel.  It will be a new season for Min as well, and I pray that she is carried and upheld as her life changes drastically, and that she is given peace and a hope fore a future:)

Where We Are At

It's the middle of the week...as of Monday, our dossier was not logged in yet.  It should be logged in this week, hopefully sooner than later, and China is expected to expedite for Min's health.  So we don't know what the expedite will look like or what the time frame will be but I might admit to doing a preliminary packing of Min's suitcase to bring with us:)  I am sure it will be packed, repacked, and gone through again, but it made me feel a little more prepared to be on our way, even though realistically we are at least a month out from travel after we have official approval of our documents from China.  And that is an expedited time frame, so we will have to see.  It is kind of nice to have our schedule cleared for the summer.  My boys are being really kind.  They understand that we don't want to be committed to a sport season if we are traveling or at the hospital and they just smile and say 'next year.'  They are fantastic brothers and can't wait to get their little sister, although they may have a skewed view of girls.  They think she will like princesses and pink and 'girly' things like mushy Disney movies and lots of dolls.  We shall see...it is obvious that we have a largely male household.  Yesterday, at dinner one of my sons was saying that we almost have enough for a soccer team and that Min could be the cheerleader...ummm, not sure where that came from, the boys play on coed teams and usually the top players are actually female so we talked about that a little bit.  We have started to talk about the importance of treated Min carefully after her surgery since she will have a recovery period and won't be able to jump on the trampoline immediately or join in to a full fledged Nerf battle.  Which brought up the point that we need to get Min her own Nerf gun and squirt gun although there are plenty of offers to share.  We are fortunate enough to have a video with Min.  I'm not really worried about her holding her own.  We can't wait to meet her.  Thank you for your prayers,  we feel them and know they are heard.

On a side note, the Thirty-One catalog party ends tomorrow, the link is on the side of this blog if you are looking for any fantastic bags or organizers:)  Thanks Anne!

Easter

Happy Easter! 

It is early Easter morning and I have two children already up and sent back to bed:)  It is not raining(we live in a rain forest) and it's a beautiful time to reflect. 

I have been blessed with faith.  It is a part of who I am and how I try to live my life.  I am not a perfect person, nor do I have a perfect faith but there are beliefs that I have based my life on and I am so grateful for them.  My faith in Jesus Christ brings me peace in a world that is full of chaos.  My faith that prayers are heard and answered makes it possible for me to never feel alone, even when people, or myself, let me down.  My hope that Christ can make something wonderful out of me and of my small attempts to do good things lets me know that my life has a purpose to be far greater than what I could be on my own.  My faith that because of Christ's resurrection, death is not the end of my existence allows me to live life with an eternal perspective, not fearing for an eventual tomorrow.  Believing that Christ's atonement  is something I can count on lets me feel sorry and ask forgiveness for mistakes and try harder to do better, knowing that those past wrongs don't have to be held against me.  Faith gives my life purpose and hope.  Prayer gives me strength and a feeling that I can always be upheld even when things are not perfect in my life.  On Easter Sunday, I am so grateful for this hugely important aspect in my life and wish everyone a very Happy Easter.

No news is .....

Well, no news is no news.  And admittedly it has been a very short time since our dossier was sent(last Friday) so I am not truly expecting news at this point.  It would be nice to know though.  Adoption is a leap into the unknown in so many ways.  It is kind of nice to be keeping our summer free from plans though, just in case.  It has been nice to know that our schedule is free and we are able to go to China whenever we can.  So now we wait.  Without updates or ways to check on the progress or any kind of definitive time frame or estimate.  We just wait.  Hmmm....maybe patience is a virtue I am supposed to have strengthened since it really isn't a strong suit with me.  So I wait, and hope, and pray, and pray some more, and practice my Mandarin phrases and think about packing the suitcase with the things we want to take for Min, and enjoy holding my boys close and doing fun things with them and reading stories and coloring and cherishing this peaceful lull in activity and adoption rushing.

And we wait...hopefully not for too long.

Sunday Faith Post

In so many ways this adoption process has been like a pregnancy.  I have put on baby weight(emotional eating is my downfall!) and cry at the most simple things.  It is funny to me how in so many ways I am finding that there is an amazing bond when you are a parent and it is part of your makeup and adopting has added another child to the makeup.

We are at the wait portion of this process.  We wait for people to do their jobs without really much input or oversight from us.  I'll be honest, I think I might be an anxious mess for the next few weeks and I am trying hard to let it go.  I am grateful for the peace about Min that I have been blessed with.  I have no idea about timing...I have hopes and I have average times at this point, but really I have no set in stone, concrete time when we get to go get Min.  I have no idea what kind of adjustment she will have or how long it will take.  I have no guarantee as to her health or lack thereof.  And really I have no way to impact those things at this current time.  Nothing I can do right now will make a difference...except for one thing.  I can pray.  I can pray for Min's file to be translated quickly.  I can pray for it to be logged in quickly and get on a person's desk who is efficient and fast and will have a heart to expedite her file.  I can pray that our file will be approved quickly and we will receive our Letter of Approval quickly.  I can pray that we will have the funds we need when we need them for this adoption. I can pray that Min will adjust and attach fully to our family quickly and that I will be a good mother to her and know how to parent to help her to attach and heal and become a wonderful person.  I can pray that I know how to help my sons during the attachment phase to know how loved and important they are and that our family is as great as it is in large part because of them.  I can pray that Min's heart will be strong and that the damage done by continuing to function unrepaired will be minimal and will stop increasing as we work to get her the care she needs.   I can pray that Min will be able to know, accept and return our love for her.  Right now I can't do much to expedite or oversee this process, but I know ONE who can and I can pray that HE will.

It's funny how what is on your mind ends up in your dreams.  I had a dream two nights ago that we were meeting Min for the first time.  I woke up wanting so badly to remember the details of that dream but they had slipped away, but I remembered that my husband and I were so happy and that Min was so happy to be adopted...the feeling of joy and peace in my dream was a gift as we wait.  I do not know that events will play out the way they were in my dream.  But I can pray.