In so many ways this adoption process has been like a pregnancy. I have put on baby weight(emotional eating is my downfall!) and cry at the most simple things. It is funny to me how in so many ways I am finding that there is an amazing bond when you are a parent and it is part of your makeup and adopting has added another child to the makeup.
We are at the wait portion of this process. We wait for people to do their jobs without really much input or oversight from us. I'll be honest, I think I might be an anxious mess for the next few weeks and I am trying hard to let it go. I am grateful for the peace about Min that I have been blessed with. I have no idea about timing...I have hopes and I have average times at this point, but really I have no set in stone, concrete time when we get to go get Min. I have no idea what kind of adjustment she will have or how long it will take. I have no guarantee as to her health or lack thereof. And really I have no way to impact those things at this current time. Nothing I can do right now will make a difference...except for one thing. I can pray. I can pray for Min's file to be translated quickly. I can pray for it to be logged in quickly and get on a person's desk who is efficient and fast and will have a heart to expedite her file. I can pray that our file will be approved quickly and we will receive our Letter of Approval quickly. I can pray that we will have the funds we need when we need them for this adoption. I can pray that Min will adjust and attach fully to our family quickly and that I will be a good mother to her and know how to parent to help her to attach and heal and become a wonderful person. I can pray that I know how to help my sons during the attachment phase to know how loved and important they are and that our family is as great as it is in large part because of them. I can pray that Min's heart will be strong and that the damage done by continuing to function unrepaired will be minimal and will stop increasing as we work to get her the care she needs. I can pray that Min will be able to know, accept and return our love for her. Right now I can't do much to expedite or oversee this process, but I know ONE who can and I can pray that HE will.
It's funny how what is on your mind ends up in your dreams. I had a dream two nights ago that we were meeting Min for the first time. I woke up wanting so badly to remember the details of that dream but they had slipped away, but I remembered that my husband and I were so happy and that Min was so happy to be adopted...the feeling of joy and peace in my dream was a gift as we wait. I do not know that events will play out the way they were in my dream. But I can pray.
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